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No fairies here...Dear god, if today is a taste of things to come Ive just lost my appetite.
Melodramatic as it might be, Ive never had so many things go awry in the space of one hour then I have today. Gail force winds and hail, lost baggage, overcharged and apprehended by security. All this just to get through to the airport terminal. The airport has no time for novices.
How was I to know that a Swiss multi-saw action camping blade in my cabin baggage would cause such a fuss?! For Christ sake Id just packed it in the wrong bag no threat of 9/11 from me.
No time for brainless mistakes. The security team always routine and always fed up - much like myself. Perhaps that is how I look to my merry colleagues of KPMG ?
It really is better for everyone concerned if people who dont enjoy their job - even enough to exercise a semblance of patience - terminate their employment in good conscience.
As for me, I now consider it somehow necessary that I give up
Delight of self realisation...Self realisation is akin to cleaning a pane of glass.
The effort of attempting to wipe it, produces a blur of confusion, and what seems to evolve into even more stain then was initially the issue.
But with continued efforts, even with no distinguishing improvement, the glass, in its own unrevealed time, suddenly clears and surprising clarity is revealed.
Until finally, the ability to see clearly and with that your reflection smiling back in delight.
The outstanding fault of self.Every minds outstanding fault is believing it is completely correct at any given time.
Patterns of habit are only realised when the mind acknowledges personal dissatisfaction.
From this, the mind recognizes its own unsatisfactory habits witnessed in others, thus providing the required impartial witness to assist with the identification of self destroying patterns within the self
Development of self...The flower has developed for millions of years, perfecting it's art of living.
Today, there is no process involved with the life of a flower that is unnecessary.
The human being is still in development, still learning and releasing all that is unnecessary.
To know and learn, one must be unknowing.
To be unknowing, one must realise there has never been anything that they ever have known.
From the eyes of a flower...Life is naught but a conscious space to experience the stream of realisation...
Enlightenment, akin to being presently and consciously aware, of your found and realised self discovery.
Much like a plant that discovers it can grow by turning towards the sun, so to do we, discover what makes us who we are, by living fully within our reality...for, it is our reality which presents truth.
This however, does not determine that truth can ever be recognised in its completeness, to a being which continously expands that which it is, as a reflection to the ever expansion of its continuous reality.
So, if living is to be an ever continuing rhelm of self expansion - of discovery - who are we really, but a consciousness, an entity of awareness, on a journey for so long as it exists?
What is our purpose but to experience who we are and all we can be? Do you believe this journey of self discovery could ever cease? If so, perhaps you could completely describe who you will be tomorrow?
If ever you fin
Ageing...Nothing in life becomes old.
Your mind simply believes itself to become more familiar.
The question is, what does it really mean to be familiar?
Do we ever really truly understand the fundemental truth of what it is to exist?
Wrongly accepted...The mind interprets what it sees, as truth, as 'what is'.
The mental concept of truth is perceived as, what is correct.
What is 'correct', the mind has been trained from birth, to accept.
What is accepted by the mind, is also then expected to remain unchanged, for it is interpreted as 'truth' and 'what is'. Therefore, it is then often over looked and also taken for granted.
The conscious effort to discover potential oversight is required to illuminate 'false truths' - for what is, is not necessarily always correct.
Always question that which you assume to be correct.
From the Depths come the TruthI felt compelled to write about what happened to me last night. That was until mum walked in and started to criticize me again. Now i don't know what i want to write about. I don't know what i want to say. I just feel angry. I feel out of control. I don't know what to do.
Last night mum angered me. In her own loneliness she spitefully made it difficult for me to leave the house to go out for a couple of hours. The confusion i felt from trying to understand her motive did nothing but snowball into rage. When I'm angry i implode. I lay on my bed seething, my mind screaming all the things i wish i could say but in good conscience couldn't. There was no sense that i could make out of her actions and i felt like i just wanted to run far away. To take every piece of thing i owned and leave to find my own space and peace. Little did i know that all that would have done is reinforce my deepest fear of being alone.
Going through my mind i was able to eventually come to some form of understandin
Thoughts of the LostWell here I sit, on the cusp of Christmas activities and with the break of 2009 comes the changes that will revolutionize my many years to come. Today signaled an end for me. The closing of a chapter you never really expect to close until everything just becomes a horribly wrong existence to be in. My time did not become a nightmare although the disappointment that has plagued me for the duration of my final stages of involvement have unfortunately left a sour taste and a lack of trust that i will not have the courage to confront, probably, ever again.
Today was my final day with KPMG and with that end came the clearing of my desk, the sweeping of my acquaintances and the farewell of my friends. With this end comes the window of a new future. Next year i am to begin my first year at university. With this beginning comes all the hopes of a new student looking to forge their career in the fate lines destined for them. I hope that my journey will not have to be a case of forging, only gro
Faith vs reasonReason( ignorance about God ) needs to be won by our Faith and Love in Christ Jesus, as Lord Jesus Himself said : " by your Love they'll know , you are my Disciples. ". Engaging a battle of reasons doesn't gain much.
Self ReflectionTo admire your enemies,
it is one step above relating to them
Pitying your enemies
Is one step above despising them
On Heroes and VillainsThere’s a saying, “When on the path to becoming a hero be wary that you don’t wind up the villain”. What that saying doesn’t warn you about is that ultimately the paths become one and the same and it’s almost impossible to see the dividing line.
The Problem with MemoryThe Problem with Memory
I don’t care what anyone remembers of me after I die. I mean, I’ll be dead, I won’t be around to care. And to a lesser extent I don’t even care what anyone evokes of me while I still draw breath. Memory is a broken concept. It can be warped and skewed by even the most impartial observer until it has no bearing on fact, on what truly occurred. How many great men does our society reminisce fondly of who were hated in their lifetimes, perhaps for good reason? And how many unassuming saints die in total obscurity by the very nature of their humility, their good deeds never to be thought of again?
I say it again, memory is a broken concept.
This is our curse, imaginably, for our own hubris. Or maybe it is the reason our race as a whole suffers such grand delusions in the first place, that we might have worshipped Caesar and Augustus as divine beings instead of the plain men they were. Plain men we all are, flesh and blood, and imperfect to the
On Fate and Destiny and OtherHere you stand at a crossroads. The road of fate to the left and the road of destiny to your right. If you were to go left then you were fated to choose so but if you go to the right then you were destined to go that way. But what if you choose neither? What if instead of choosing one or the other you made a different choice? What would we call that?
One word for it may be “freedom”.
Bad Trend in Teens [More to a journal]I heard from my friend, that many of her classmates are or want to use e-Cigarette. And this is so messed up, as we are still young (middle-schooler).
First of all, what is e-Cigarette? Electric Cigarette/Electronic Nicotine Delivery Systems, a new cigarette type. Detailed here.
Also known as 'vapor' in Indonesia. It may be more healthy and environmentally friendly than normal cigarette, but the negative sides still the same.
Well, read the rest of the thing in wikipedia.
e-Cigarette is kind of expensive in Indonesia (the cheapest one as far as my cousin know is 500.000 IDR, I don't know what about the liquid, and if refill...). But well, my school is a prestigious school for those who are rich (I'm not that rich though) so it's not that surprising...
I know what is e-Cigarette since my cousin uses it too. My cousin already work, and e-Cigarette is a trend in her workplace.
So, back to main point. My friend showed the
Coming CleanI'm gonna be honest with you, I don't have any idea what I'm doing.
I keep coming up with these absolutely ridiculous thoughts and ideas that mess with me way more than my own thoughts should, and they're almost always about trivial bullshit. One day, I consider how many people would care if my plane went down in a field somewhere. I wonder how many lives would be affected by the loss of everyone on board with me, how long it would be on the news, if at all. Then I'm realizing that I'm just a grain of sand in a great cosmic beach or some hippie crap like that that you've heard spewed a dozen times from books and speeches and poetry.
Can this be called a poem? I don't like to write poems. I have no skill with them and at my age they always wind up full of angst.
I guess you could say that we're having a conversation, but at the same time you aren't contributing at all. I don't even know who the hell you are, yet I'm talking to you, the abstract idea of a reader, like we're friends. I su
On Strength Beyond StrengthI know a lot of strong people, people who can’t climb a wall or win a fight or even lift a box over thirty pounds above their head, but they’re strong because they have something most “strong” people lack. Perseverance. They are strong because they are determined and maybe too stubborn to back down.
That in itself is a form of strength.
Confesiunea unui suflet pagan Asculta-mi spusele, pentru tine, nu doar de dragul celor din jur. Poate si tu ai trecut prin acest cosmar,
dar nu ai avut curajul si nici cuvintele necesare sa spui.
Nu e fictiune, nu e o poveste cu printi si printese,
ci doar confesiunea unui suflet de taciune in spatele caruia
se afla o inima imbibata cu venin de atata amar de vreme.
O lacrima nevinovata, ce trece ca un fulger pe obrazu-ti de copil te diferentiaza de
un pui de demon.
Te privesc in oglinda si departe de ordinara-ti infatisare umana, departe de ochii-ti
negri ce lumineaza, dar plang
a jale, vezi un spirit intunecat care ti-a aparat fragila constiinta si nu te-a lasat sa
innebunesti de la prima cadere.
Un gand se proiecteaza in tacere pe zeci de sentimente care ricoseaza direct in inima ta
gingasa si te doare... si nu-ti citesc dintr-un roman, ci dintr-un suflet.
The dangers of being right...Fundementally, every self believes itself to be ultimately and completely right, true, justified, and complete.
It is not until you realise that this part of your conditioning has not once ever been right about anything, that release is found and the soul set free.
And what a relief to not have to be right...!
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